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Commentary

Monday Morning Mixer: 'America' destroys the box office

Posted April 7, 2014, 12:04 PM

Here's a little story that anyone who writes or blogs or otherwise composes stuff for the web should know. Don't compose in the browser.

I admit, I do that all of the time. I've also lost a great deal of blood, sweat and tears over accidentally reloaded pages or crashes. UGH. And yet, I continue to do it much to Tim's chagrin.

If you couldn't figure it out by now, I just lost this morning's MMM. And it was a glorious MMM filled with witty insight and great speculation. Alas, it is gone forever and shall never see the light of day.

I know that I can never recreate it or have the two hours of time to re-write it, so instead, I present to you this far inferior Cliff's notes version of today's MMM. Feel free to close your eyes periodically and...

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Movie Trailer News

ScarJo goes from drug mule to brainy vigilante in 'Lucy' trailer

Posted April 3, 2014, 4:04 PM

It's no secret that I'm a pretty big Luc Besson fan. The Professional. La Femme Nikita. The Fifth Element.

Let's face it, there's no one better on the planet at creating badass women than Luc Besson. So, when I heard that he was taking Scarlett Johansson under his wing for his latest film Lucy, I was intrigued to say the least.

The film follows the mold of his earlier hits in which a vulnerable woman is placed into circumstances where the odds are stacked against her and yet, she still finds a way to come out on top. After seeing the first trailer for the film, I'm not entirely convinced that the film does much in the way of breaking new ground as much as it allows ScarJo to be the center of the kick butt universe.

Even for ScarJo, this isn't new...

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View Askew News

Johnny Depp in Kevin Smith's 'Tusk'

Posted April 2, 2014, 10:04 AM

Look, I can admit it. I was wrong. I went out on a branch with an abundance of circumstantial evidence and I was sure that Michael Keaton was cast as Guy Lapointe in Tusk.

Well, if the walrus suit don't fit, you must acquit. And sadly Michael Keaton is not going to be in Tusk. However, I have proof this time (well, as much as official makeup artist websites can provide) that an equally intriguing fellow will be stepping in (or actually has already stepped in since his scenes have wrapped) to Guy Lapointe's boots.

That venerable actor is none other than Johnny Depp himself.

Maybe I should get half credit here. I mean, I did name Depp as a potential casting back in the original story and it seems that it has indeed come to fruition.

I thought that my stalking of Kevin...

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Movie Trailer News

Red-band trailer for 'Sex Tape' has both laughs and laughable technology

Posted April 1, 2014, 10:04 AM

Hollywood has a long history of getting technology wrong in movies. There are lots of great things computers can do and as many things they can't do -- despite what script writers think. You've seen those movies and TV shows that take a blurry and distorted photo or video and enhance it so the critical information, like a car's license plate number, can be read? Yeah, that really doesn't happen.

Need more examples? Watch any of these: The Net, Hackers, Independence Day, WarGames, Superman 3, Swordfish, Live Free or Die Hard, Real Genius, Weird Science, the list goes on...

The upcoming film Sex Tape starring Cameron Diaz and Jason Segel looks to be the next on this list. It's an old concept -- a couple looking to rekindle the romance -- combined with a new one -- mobile devices and cloud computing...

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Commentary

Monday Morning Mixer: 'Noah' floods the box office with green

Posted March 31, 2014, 11:03 AM

We are one day shy of my favorite holiday of the year and yet, it feels as though Mother Nature got a head start with her April Fool's Day festivities. With temperatures reaching the 70s today, it looks like Spring has finally sprung, which can mean only one thing.

The Summer movie season is like one week away.

OK, I jest, a bit, but with studios moving their blockbusters further and further out, it's beginning to feel like Summer is co-opting April and May for its box office glory. Heck, we're all for there being more Summer blockbusters around, but it would be nice if we could wear shorts to the theater to see them, am I right?

Today also happens to be Opening Day for Major League baseball. I grew up outside of Detroit and when I lived there, I remember that...

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Movie Trailer News

What happened to the Wachowskis?

Posted March 27, 2014, 5:03 PM

When I was 25, there wasn't anything cooler in theaters than The Matrix. The year was 1999 and I was torn between my inner child geeking out over Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace, the first Star Wars film in over 15 years and a more adult SciFi phenomenon in The Matrix.

True, history will show that Phantom Menace and the rest of the prequel trilogy were just inferior films both to the original trilogy and other contemporary SciFi fare, but I wonder if The Matrix doesn't bear at least some responsibility for our collective letdown with Phantom Menace.

Over the course of the 1990s as we grew into adulthood, our SciFi options grew with us with offerings like Stargate (1994) and The Fifth Element (1997), which were both rated PG-13. Finally in 1999, we got our first taste...

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Movie Trailer News

First look at Michael Bay's 'Ninja Turtles'

Posted March 27, 2014, 11:03 AM

It's not like you have to try to hard to sell me on anything that involves Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I mean every word in that oozes with awesomeness.

And yet, it's the name above the title that sends shudders down my spine. This latest attempt to jumpstart the TMNT franchise is being spearheaded by the man who is single-handedly trying to ruin my childhood, Michael Bay. At least he's not directing this one, only producing it, but in case you weren't aware of his involvement, his name is larger than life in the first trailer for the film, which dropped today.

As is his trademark, his name isn't the only thing that is larger than life in this first glimpse of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. The turtles themselves look like they've taken the time away from the limelight to juice up...

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Undiscovered Picks

Upcoming movies worth watching that you may not have heard of.

  • The Selfish Giant
  • Way of the Wicked
  • Escape from Tomorrow
  • Journey to the West
  • Is the Man Who Is Tall Happy?